Family drama, breaking camp, and getting on the road

I don’t wanna spend too much energy talking about this as I’m more than burnt out, but long story short. Guy beats girl. Guy chokes out girl to unconsciousness twice. Guy cuts himself and threatens suicide, threatens killing himself, girl, and family. Guy entraps girl for a day and a half in his home.

Girl considers police, then no contact, then going back to him. Girl ignores everyone in her family, friends, and their safety to intentionally choose abuse. Girl constantly lies and takes advantage of family. Girl waste’s everyone’s time.

Anyway, I asked for advice on reddit:

Like, I don’t give a shit if someone wants beat and needs an abusive relationship, some people want that in their life, but once the line is crossed where it involves the safety of other people, for fucks sake. Yeah. The fact is my younger sister doesn’t give a fuck about her family, parents, or what happens to them.

I’ve told mom that she shouldn’t enable the behavior and put her on a timeline to make her own adult, independent decisions on her own, adult, independent ass.

And really, it comes from a place of care. I just feel so strongly due to my own issues in relationships and just have no tolerance for bullshit like that anymore. People say, “but family!” and yeah. But even sometimes with family you have to have boundaries to take care of yourself. And trust me, I told her she needed to pause for a moment and be single after being abused and beat by her last ex, and was around for that zoo.

I’ll miss being home and I’m mad that the time I wanted to spend here reconnecting was stolen from me, but it is what it is.

Moving on from the insane, immature bullshit. I just can’t, lol.

It’s the next day. I had written more, but ended up having a breakdown. I hadn’t been stressed like that since my divorce. The thing about toxic people is that it bleeds all over everyone and everything and Kasey and I got into it on top of everything. I’m just gonna chalk that up to a squabble that spiraled out of control due to my own projection of heaviness, a spiral.

We’ve been pretty good at recognizing them and preventing them, both being anxious and highly intelligent people (not that intelligence helps prevent spirals, but more, what causes them).

I also think that it’d be good for Kasey to have something for her big brain to sink into. She’s like me in that idle hands leads to more thoughts.

Anyway, it’s nice sitting here in my robe and slippies. I awoken from dreams of having ducked into a school basement due to a tornado warning, and woke up to a gentle rocking of the RV due to high wind gust.

Today we move to a campground. It’s not the best place, it isn’t the worst place, but it’s a neutral place that’ll do for now. Far from the Twilight teen abuse drama and worries I’ll have to wring some guy’s neck, or worse, if he shows up here and trespasses.

There’s still quite a bit of work to do here on the farm. I sold my desktop computer yesterday, so that’s one less thing, I ship another tomorrow. However, there still is quite a bit of organization and sorting that needs to occur. The old RV also needs finished and listed, something that was planned to be done before the drama.

The move signifies being on the road, technically and practically, regardless of where it’s located and how “insignificant” it is (what we fought about yesterday, because it isn’t some grand escapist fantasy).

Reality check, do I actually wanna go fuck off and be across the country? Well. First impression thinking about it is a surge of stomach acid in my stomach and fear. I immediately think of mountain passes with no pull off and the same feeling I had when thinking about leaving Indianapolis.

But past the anxiety, I’ve been to California, Portland, the coast. I’ve been to Myrtle Beach and Key West, Fort Myers. As for RVing, I went to KY. I’ve been to nowhere, Michigan a whole bunch of times, even with intense anxiety.

It’s why I want to spend this year doing more regional travel first and get the wind under my wings back. France Park here in town, Kokomo, Lafayette, a jaunt to Michigan, southern Indiana by Fall to watch the pretty leaves.

Kasey is so incredibly impatient about leaving Indiana and we have disagreements about it, quite often. I’m getting tired of having disagreements about it. She had a pretty bad time when she did visit Brad in Seattle, even if it was understandable why. She feels like she’s wasting time in her life, a common theme for her for a long time now. Her family here in Indiana makes her uncomfortable as her mother has zero boundaries and is toxic enough to take it out on the rest of her family if she can’t entrap and narcissisticly abuse Kasey.

Anyway, I’m getting heavy again and I’m done writing. Things have actually been relatively good until I got knocked off balance quite hard. Fuck me for trying to be a big brother.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s