Oh man, what a day. Thankfully, I have the next two days off work for some R&R, so that’s nice. Today was good, overall; played some Sims, got a good workday in.
Jade drama, round 2. She had been asking mom, repeatedly, if her asshat abuser of a boyfriend is allowed over. The answer was no. Not only a no, but a no so far as mom was worried that she’d go off on him. Not that it should have even be a question as Jade already knows that if I, or Keva sees him around here; it isn’t gonna be a good time.
Instead of an Ok, or anything else, I get a “Mom said he could”, which is an outright lie. Bitch, I literally talked to her on the way in, and out of the restaurant. See, if you want to piss off a narcissist, point out their lies.
So I received a “Fuck you” and that I was some 35 year old man child. For what, I’m not quite sure. Excuse me for not being alright with some dude that I already told NOT to invite into my home awhile back but she beings him in my home anyway, beat her twice; most recently as last week and is a loose cannon with the cutting and suicidal attention seeking, manipulation bullshit.
What really pissed me off is that she immediately tried pointing at me and saying I was the only one uncomfortable with him around, LOL. It was an intentional jab, gaslighting of sorts to try and make me feel bad.
This spilled into the group chat with mom, the next thing said that mom was a liar, lol. Like, I can’t even. You have to be either intentionally malicious, or pretty fucked up to believe your own lies so quickly, and have them change so rapidly. Again, classic trademark of a narcissist, BPD, Bi-Polar, whatever.
No dude, I refuse to believe that it isn’t intentional and she’s fully aware of what she is doing. She may not ultimately know what she is doing, at least in the mid to long term, but god damn. How fucking stupid do you have to be to blatantly lie and change that lie on a dime? Is it to save face, or what? Like, I just don’t get it.
No, it’s more like she moves out, mom puts a lot of time and effort getting her old room into a home office, then she wakes up one morning with Jade having thrown all of her shit in the hallway and it’s suddenly her room again. Or mom’s wicker basket disappearing and “no one knows what happened to it” instead of just admitting she threw it away or whatever.
And she wanted to bring up something about how she actually lives here. Um, I’m pretty sure I pay rent. Oh wait, you lied about that the last time I was upset around the last time you got beat and wasted everyone’s time and didn’t do anything about it.
Nah, she’s toxic af. She cheats on people and blames the people she cheats on with, then runs back to the person she cheated on and like, enjoys the beating or whatever the fuck she’s into. Hey, I don’t kink shame, but like, maybe get beat more ethically.
I don’t know, dude. And of course, dear reader, one wonders why I cracked open the door again. See, I’ve been working in therapy to try and not be so black and white and just not cut people off and “burn bridges” as mom puts it. Balancing boundaries and trying to understand, have empathy is hard, it’s really hard.
Some people you just have to cut off, especially when they are that toxic. And the thing is, it doesn’t matter what meds they are coming off and on of, what sob story of “I can’t leave because he’ll kill himself, boohoo” or other shit, you just don’t need it in your life sometimes.
Especially when like… the person insists on putting you and their family in danger, and at the least, totally not give a fuck, at all, for their comfort or piece of mind.
It was the weirdest thing the other night when we hung out. So, she asked for help backing up her phones and such, fine. I brought up two Lighting to USB-C cables. She insisted, hard, that one was hers. Then Mike gets pissed off that his downstairs went missing, she had it of course. It just put me off.
`1. If you had your own, why did you take Mike’s charger?
2. Why did you insist that my cable was yours?
3. and like.. why try to outright lie and try to manipulate, then turn around and call mom the liar? Like, you are already made by then, just stop.
Lol. Again, I just can’t even.
I just really think that she needs to be put on a timeline to get her shit together or move out, that she should stop being enabled. I think a core issue here is that it feels like the fam has overcorrected a bit with her, not that it’s my place to say as I’m not her parent. Like, things were fucking rough during my childhood. Keva had it a bit better, but Jade; she’s had all of the advantages in life. A loving, supportive home, but I don’t feel like she’s had consequences for her actions. Again, not my place, just trying to untangle her behavior, if such a thing is possible.
It’s kinda like… I checked the mail earlier today and noticed a piece of mail addressed to her, a credit card offer; whatever, but reading it and realizing that it was for students and to build credit, it kinda crushed me and hit me in the feels, made me pretty sad. Because like, she should be worried about college and getting out of nowhere, Indiana. And yet, she’s self destructing instead.
But I don’t sit here and say that she should be put on a timeline just because of the bad behavior. It’s also a core safety issue for everyone and a blatant disregard for the people she is living with. You have a kid who is slicing his wrists, forcing her to watch, threatening to kill his family and shit, breaking his hand beating my sister, and a sibling that is lying to parents, trying to manipulate, and is likely even more internally unstable than he is.
Maybe dude’s grandma can put her foot down and ban Jade from his place, too. They can’t like force them to stop dating or whatever, but people need to learn real quick that they don’t own the places they are staying in rent free and do whatever the fuck they want. It doesn’t matter that they are “adults” 20 somethings, fuck, it’s even MORE REASON to have some fucking boundaries and rules, cuz like, adults need to be treated like adults, right?
Like, fuck Jayden for hitting women, but also, like his grandmother said, they are some scary people to know that are around when together. I think after talking to Eli, not that he is a saint, either, and knowing what happened with Cameron and the lies, cheating that happened with him; I think Jade is the core issue here, the instigator. Not that she deserved to be beat, and Jayden should be facing charges for what he did, but since she’s chosen to not only not do anything, but perpetuate the situation, I find her just as culpable as he is, on some level, as she’s choosing to enable, and support the behavior.
Some of it may just be fucked up teens these days, also. Like, Jade isn’t an ugly kid or anything, it’s not like she couldn’t do better. I just don’t get why she wants to waste her time and want to get beat, because there’s really no other explanation for it other than she likes getting beat.
Just, for fucks sake, go get beat on your own; don’t fucking drag your family into it.
But no, that door is never going to open again. Fuck me once, fuck me twice, but three times, no thank you. It’s just kinda sad because like, I felt bad for her and it’s why I tried letting her in again; but after tonight, no. I no longer feel bad for her. It’s intentional and lacking any respect for anyone but herself. I don’t tolerate that and I don’t need asshole people like that in my life, family or not.
I just wish mom didn’t get the blunt end of the stick, but just like Jade, I can’t force her to do anything about it, either. I just hope she can figure out some way to stop enabling her. “I’m gonna kill myself” or whatever is such an overdone manipulation that I think that’s the thing that repulses me the most. They either do it, well, they chose it, but 99.99% of the time, it’s something that is said just to get a rise out of people, to make you feel bad for them and in this case, it’s totally a manipulation.
It’s a manipulation because like… the bar is pretty fucking low here. Like, just don’t bring him to the house. Go get beat, get your rocks off on it. The family has already accepted it, but stop pushing. Stop trying to put people in danger. Stop lying, stop manipulating. Stop telling your family “fuck you” like a little crybaby because you think you are the main character on the planet. If I did a quarter of the shit she gets away with, I’d be kicked out of here so fast my head would spin, as would the other kids (and have in the past). There’s only so much care and understanding you can possibly give someone intentionally choosing unhealthy behavior.
But anyway, fuck all of this shit; I’m off work tomorrow and I can rest easy knowing I’ll never have to deal with this wish.com teen drama again. FUCK haha.
Queue the intrusive thoughts about Jade going off and stabbing the fam or some dumb shit. I don’t know dude, she likely would do some real dumb shit if forced to leave him somehow. I genuinely fear for my fam on some level and I feel so bad for mom, not only due to the disrespect, but like, the worry I know she has about her.
Fuck you, Jade, for putting our mom and the fam though this.